If you had a business partner, would you want them to be truthful with you or bullshit you? If you’re in the “bullshit me, please” camp, let me know – I’ve got a great lead on a Florida swamp land investment. If you’re in the “just tell me the truth” camp, then you’re probably like 90% of most people – and unlike 75% of the pitches I’ve seen recently.
It never ceases to amaze me that someone who’s asking you for an investment – who’s essentially asking you to become their partner, will start the relationship with an unhealthy dose of bullshit. These snake oil salesmen act as if somehow, after the relationship is entered into, the bullshit won’t be revealed and stink up the whole deal. Some people assume ‘fake it, ’til you make it’ is the rule to apply here. Trust me, if your ‘beta ready software’ turns out to be a sketch on the back of a bar coaster, your partner will not appreciate your moxie and aggressiveness. And shame on you if you’re reaction to this is to claim ‘caveat emptor‘ or expect your partner should’ve caught your BS during due diligence.
3 sure signs you’re bullshitting in your pitch
1. Abuse of the royal we.
Back when I was a lawyer starting my own law practice, there were lawyers I knew who advised me to call it “Daniel A. Izzo & Associates” on the theory that it’d make my practice seem more established (on the subtheory that the fax machine was an associate of mine). I did not follow this advice. I was a solo practitioner. I didn’t want to misrepresent this with a lie, however acceptable or commonplace. I hear lots of entrepreneurs saying “We” in their pitches when they really mean “I” or “me.” Look, if you’re a one man show, you’re a one man show. You aren’t a “we”, you are a “me.”
2. CEO, President and Founder.
I find that most of the pitch-stage or development-stage entrepreneurs I come across, don’t really know what ‘CEO’ stands for, much less what one does. If the company consists of you. Or you and your three buddies, you don’t really need a CEO. You don’t really need titles at all. If you call yourself ‘CEO’ you’re just revealing your immaturity. You might as well call yourself “Superman Lightning McQueen” which is what my son calls himself when he’s playing superheroes. It has an equal basis in fact.
3. “In development” or “in process”
This one’s a bit more gray, but I often find it is used as a replacement for “I don’t know”. For example, saying “Our business model is still in development” when you mean “I’m still figuring it out.” ”In development” implies someone is off somewhere working on it, not that you’re still noodling it over.
Honesty is the best policy.
Yes, I seriously wrote that. Honesty is the best policy. People invest in people (whether that investment is time, money or other valuable resources.) When you engage in these bits of puffery, you reveal yourself as a bullshitter, and a pretty sloppy one at that. Don’t do it.
Have any stories of people who overrepresent themselves or other examples of signs of BS? Share them in the comments.